A: That girl’s a slut.
B: How do you know that? Have you seen her actually being a slut?
B: Then why do you call her slut?
A: Because a lot of people say that she is a slut.
A: That restaurant must serve horrible food.
B: Did you try their food?
B: Then why did you say so?
A: Because the exterior is ugly.
It’s such a guilty pleasure that almost everybody in the world ever does. Some people know it’s not a good thing, but they do it anyway. What is it that we’re talking about? Making judgment without investigation. You know what the other word for it? GOSSIP.
People love doing it. Gossip about someone. Gossip about some place. Gossip about celebrities. And so many other kinds of gossips. But at the end, gossip is just gossip. It is just a form of conversation with highly questionable truth in it.
I personally learned the hard way that gossip is really an unhealthy lifestyle. Not because it happened to me, but because it happened to somebody I knew. I used to believe a gossip rather easily. One time, I believed this horrible story that a friend (now, not anymore), let’s call her X, told me, about another friend, that I’m going to call Y. I only found out about the truth when it’s too late, when the damage was done. And I wish I had never believed what X had said because it ruined our friendships. And in case you didn’t know, friendship is the one thing that you should treasure the most in your life. From that point on, I made a promise to my self that I’d never believe anything that is less than the truth and that I’d not gossip anymore (well, this second part, I’m still working on it.)
I remind myself every time that even though many people are saying the same thing, doesn’t make anything true. That’s why when people are starting a conversation that contains gossip in it, I tend to pull away. Or sometimes I just respond with a “Really?” and then move on.
“even though many people are saying the same thing, doesn’t make anything true.”
The thing that worries me the most is that a gossip can give us a false perception about something. And that’s a really bad thing for me. False perception costed me my friendship. And it could cost everyone many things. You can lose your friends, your trust, your credibility. More importantly, gossip can cost someone big time. See Exhibit A and B? Imagine that the girl that was being called slut in Exhibit A was you. Of course you were not a slut, but people were believing that you were. And because of this rumour, you were denied a job that you’ve been dreaming of because your potential employer believed it too. And look at Exhibit B. The owner of the restaurant would suffer a great deal of loss because there was rumour that their food tasted horrible.
My suggestion is do not make an assumption so quickly. If you’re never in that situation, it’s impossible for you to know what it’s like. And even if you were, there’s no way you can really know what’s inside someone’s heart. Plus, you have no right to speak on behalf of anybody or anything other than yourself. So, be careful with the information that you receive everyday.
“Plus, you have no right to speak on behalf of anybody or anything other than yourself.”
Maybe it makes you feel good about yourself when people see you as someone who knows many (questionable) things. But when the truth comes out, you’ll be nothing but a big mouthed person who doesn’t have credibility and is not trustworthy.